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Time-Tested Techniques to Keep Relationship Problems at Bay

One of the most important things about being in a relationship is learning how to keep the relationship going even after the honeymoon phase is over, and all the small imperfections start to surface.

As the relationship goes on, you will run into disagreements, which will eventually lead into arguments and fights that could strain the relationship, or even hurt each other whether you intend to or not.

To prevent relationship problems before they get out of hand, here are a few techniques you can use with your partner:

1. Engage, don’t enrage
Most arguments between couples happen because of small things or annoying habits that a partner keeps repeating, rather than a disagreement over a big decision.

A healthy couple will try to dig deep in any emotional argument to find out what really is the reason why they’re fighting with each other, and to hear – and carefully listen – to what the other is trying to say.

To resolve issues with your partner, it’s important to keep a calm head since making criticizing comments or intentionally pushing buttons won’t fix anything, but instead make things worse.

2. Take the initiative, but don’t dominate
Taking the initiative and dominating the relationship are two different things – and the important factor that distinguishes one from the other is choice.

Rather than outright telling your partner to stop doing something or start doing something a certain way, try to encourage a conversation about it and open yourself and your partner up to possible compromise and alternatives.

Even though you are in a relationship, boundaries are still important, and you need to respect your partner’s if you want your partner to respect yours.

3. Avoid shaming your partner
Avoid using words or doing things that could shame or make your partner feel humiliated. Take a moment to think about what you want to say, and be sure to use words to focus on the action instead of the person.

In this same way, you also want to avoid taking your partner for granted – gratitude can be more life changing for you and your partner when you acknowledge and are thankful for the different things you bring to the relationship.

4. Practice being vulnerable to your partner
Being emotionally naked to your partner can be more terrifying than being physically naked, especially if it’s your first time. However, while being vulnerable can get you hurt, this is only the way that genuine connections and intimacy can develop with your partner.

Aside from openly communicating, expressing, and sharing your feelings with your partner, it’s also important to know your partner’s “love language”, which is how your partner gives and receives love and affection.

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How to Get Over a Heartbreak

Anyone who has ever been in a romantic relationship has experienced heartbreak at least once. Not everyone gets a happily-ever-after ending. So how do you get over a heartbreak?

Accept that It Hurts

There’s no going over that fact. Heartbreak hurts and there is no guarantee when it will stop hurting, if it will ever stop at all. You will go through a roller coaster of emotions as you try to make sense of the experience. You will find yourself wishing you could change things. It’s natural to feel betrayed, hurt and disappointed.

Talk to Friends and Family

You should not go through the pain alone. One effective way to speed up your recovery is to surround yourself with people who love you and will support you. Tell them how you feel. If they love you, they won’t get tired of listening to you rant because they know it will make you feel better. Stay away from people who will not encourage you to move forward and instead tempt you to go drinking or partying until you pass out. Avoid posting on social media so you don’t make a fool out of yourself.

Don’t Blame Yourself

You will feel angry about what happened. You will wonder why it happened to you even if you did your best. Stop when you start thinking of “if onlys” and “what ifs.” Treat your experience as a way to become better the next time you’re in a relationship. Accept that not everything will work out for the best, but you still have to try. For a relationship to work, it needs two people. You are both to blame, but pointing fingers will not help.

Not Everything Can Be Fixed

While you’re in a state of denial, you will be tempted to communicate with your ex. There will be a time and place to do that, but talking could only slow down the healing process. You should not communicate with your ex while you’re in a confused state of mind. Give it some time and maybe you will realize you don’t need a closure after all.

Distract Yourself

While it’s the perfect time to listen to heartbreak songs, doing so would be unproductive. Allow yourself some time to grieve, but don’t spend too long thinking about the breakup. Spend time with your family and friends. Try new things or work off your frustration by going to the gym. Choose activities, however, that will not compromise your health. You’re mentally vulnerable at this point so it’s easy to fall into addiction and abuse.

Learn to Love Again

In time, the pain will fade. You should not be afraid to try again. If your last relationship failed, that doesn’t mean you will keep failing. Consider dating but only if you feel that you’re ready. You can’t start going out with another person when you’re still heartbroken. It would be unfair to him/her and yourself.

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Ghosting: A New Way of Breaking Up Your Relationship

‘Ghosting’ often occurs when two people have been going on dates, and then one person starts responding less and less to the other. At some point, the former will stop all means of communication without leaving any explanation. Apparently, ghosting is believed to help in softening the blow of a breakup, but it doesn’t really work that way. To help you get a better understanding of this new craze, here are four reasons as to why it has become such an epidemic.

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  1. It makes breaking up with someone much easier. Ghosting makes it easier for a person to slowly distance himself or herself from the person he’s or she’s been casually seeing. By doing this, you don’t get to face them and see how upset they’d be as you end your relationship. While this is really easier to do, it’s actually more cowardly than facing the person and talking about your feelings. Remember that just because it’s easier to do, that doesn’t mean that it’s the right thing to do.

 

  1. It saves time than personally seeing someone just to dump him or her. Seriously, who has the time to make plans with someone just to break up with them when you can just ghost them out? You can do it by stopping all replies to their snapchats, calls and text messages.

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In fact, it’s even easier if you two haven’t met yet since you can use that as excuse to ghost the person out. Well, how upset can he get when you really haven’t even met, right? Wrong. Understand that just because you haven’t met someone in person that doesn’t mean that feelings haven’t developed within the timeframe that you constantly communicated.

 

  1. It plays down the chances of being insensitive or mean towards the other person. Breakups can be really messy and be quite difficult to handle at times – and I don’t want to believe that people would want to be mean, especially when it comes to the feelings of the other person involved.

 

People often forget that breakups doesn’t need to end badly and that it doesn’t have to be done in a mean way. In fact, it can be an honest conversation between the persons involved. You may think that ghosting someone out is nicer than flat out telling him or her that you don’t feel the same way anymore, but it’s really no excuse to exile someone from your life without giving any explanation.

 

  1. It makes it easier to hint that you already met someone new. Providing an explanation as to why you don’t feel the same way towards the other person anymore can really be harder than just cutting all your lines of communication altogether. But in reality, most people would still want to have an explanation since knowing that person’s reason will make moving on much easier. Not giving an explanation will just make that person think that you don’t want to be part of their life anymore.

Ghosting became frequent nowadays due to technology – but it’s not the technology’s fault. It’s the person behind the screen who needs to take responsibility of his or her actions. Remember that hiding behind your phones or social media accounts won’t solve anything. Just the person involved straight up as to why your relationship will no longer work, so that it’ll be easier for both of you to get over the things that has happened between you.

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